“It’s not as hard as you think” is a statement I learned early on that you shouldn’t say to someone who is in the midst of doing hard things.
The truth is, hard things ARE HARD and we should be honest with others when mentoring them or giving them a task to do that takes a lot of mental fortitude.
I like to do stuff, be creative, do things all at once. My method can look scattered and scary to someone but my method works. I learned mental toughness through life experiences, like most of us do. When I was 19, I needed a car or I couldn’t go to the community college so I had to save money by working at the Jet Food Store for seven months. Those were some long months but I saved enough for a 1991 black Ford Tempo. I was one happy girl but things didn’t get easier. My mental fortitude helped me make it through college, but guess what? It took me 10 years to get the degree.
I think some of us are slow starters not by choice, but by life setbacks or just sheer ignorance [insert eye roll]. This was my story, one setback after another and money had something to do with it all. I plugged along like the good girl I was. Working hard, getting those college degrees, raising those kids.
And still things are hard. Here’s the deal, I think a lot of us are in this place of great ideas vs. loving the idea and actually taking the steps to do the thing. I’ve taught hundreds of adults in my time as a teacher, worked with women who were incarcerated, listened to their stories, and mentored hundreds more in my time as a fitness coach. Guess what? There is always the common theme of being STUCK.
Back to me being creative. I like to be actively creative. Not sitting too much, but moving my body and seeing the fruits of my labor afterwards. Have you ever rearranged furniture in a room that took you hours? You might have updated the pillows or moved the sofa to a different location, threw a plush rug on the floor. You stand back and see the “new” room and you feel good. That’s me. I love to see the action happening. The mess makes me happy and crazy at the same time, and just when I feel like “this thing ain’t happening,” it happens!
I just finished performing the off-Broadway musical Nunsense. We began rehearsals in late August, changed a zillion things, thought the set would never come together, struggled through choreography, and still, it all came together. Beautifully. Magically.
I have to tell you about of our rock star performers who fell an hour before the last performance. She tripped and hit her nose and there was so much blood and she’s in her 60’s. Do you know that she got cleaned up and still performed, still sang out and smiled and performed her heart out. When I told her she was a warrior, she replied,
We finished our final performance this past Sunday and I’m sad because now I’ve got to do something to fill this time. There’s always much to do, always much to do. And, it’s gonna take some mental fortitude to get going, to work on these ideas in my head, to get laser-focused on something I love, and to MAKE.IT.HAPPEN.
What do you think? Do you ever feel stuck in a spiral or feel paralyzed. Do you need help finding “what’s next?”
I love thinking of you in the play. I almost never feel stuck, but I definitely feel as if the process of getting a good mindset is long and arduous. This is taking wayyy too long. Much love to you, Mary Alice.