My 23 year-old daughter looked at me with big brown eyes and said, “I wish I had it all figured out. You’re older, you’ve got things all settled.”
I sat up straight backed and replied, “Girl, please. My life is mixed the hell up!”
We laughed at my exclamation, but I wondered why I didn’t have it all figured it out by now. After all, I’m turning 49 this year. I’ve lived a long time, I’ve earned three college degrees, taught thousands of students, been through some heavy trauma, raised wonderful children, and still, many times, I wonder if I have done enough.
After working with midlife women for nearly a decade now through several online communities, I know that many of us wild women like to test the waters, we often feel we aren’t doing enough because there’s so many things we want to do. And, this, can make a person feel a little ADHD. Just take my February camera roll, for example. LOL I have been ALL OVER THE PLACE! So, hang with me, and I will share a little of my month.
The Heart Wants What it Wants
On February 2 I sent a text to my husband with a link to this huge “Stanley-like” cup. I saw the cup on Pink Lily Boutique’s website. I was drawn to the colors and phrases. A little of me said “You’re too old for this cup. But, the part of me that’s strong and bold said “I want the cup, I am asking my husband for the cup, and I will send him the link for said cup.”
I got the cup and it’s AMAZING! I looked for y’all, and it’s sold out but there are more HERE.
The Baby Never Gets Fed
Knowing my cute tumbler was on the way, I set my mind to other things. You remember the toy baby bottle you fed your baby doll with? This toy baby bottle has always perplexed me because of the disappearing fluid. For over 40 years I have despised this bottle because it never really fed the baby, it just pretended to. On February 8, this bottle popped into my mind and I went to Google where I found this meme. I posted this meme on my personal Facebook and folks chimed in with comments that they, too, want to know where the liquid goes and why is it orange? Here’s a little video about the mechanics of the bottle.
It’s an Aphrodisiac
Last week, I saw these strange tiny flowers growing up through dead leaves. I noticed them one night when I pulled into my driveway and the headlights caught the whites of the delicate blooms. The next day, my husband and I walked though the leaves at our wood line to see if there were more flowers and there were. I used the app Plantin to discover the flowers are called Bloodroot, an ancient native plant that has red juice that oozes from the root when cut. Apparently, these plants are over-harvested for their dyes and medicinal uses so I feel honored they decided to grow on my property. Also, I read this about the plant, and how appropriate for February.
“Bloodroot sap was used in matters of love by Algonquin as a love charm, and the Micmac used it as an aphrodisiac. Ponca bachelors applied the root juice on their palm and then attempted to touch the hand of their love interest, thereby leaving a token of interest in the way of a stain.” (Indiana Nature)
Inspired
The discovery of the cheeky Bloodroot plant gave me a little boost of energy and I eagerly went to my computer to draft up a March wellness challenge not only for my paid nutrition & fitness app but also for Facebook. This meant I would have to create a month’s worth of daily content, graphics, a newsletter, and digital downloads. About 30 minutes into planning, I started feeling dread, panic, and worry that I would never get done. But, guess what? I got it done a week later. I’ve learned to walk away with those nasty feelings come and revisit the situation in timed chunks. Here’s the link to my group.
Finding the Calm
Working out isn’t something I do on the fly. Well, I used to workout like that. You know how it goes. You say you’re gonna start jogging and you jog one day and that’s about it. Or, you try pilates but all that weird posing kind of hurts, or you try yoga and all that dog, cat, and cow business is for the birds. I’m not making fun here of the process of finding what works for you when it comes to exercise, but what works for me is BODi, formerly known as Beachbody. Don’t knock it until you try it because I lost 64 pounds from their nutrition education and the workout programs. During the hard parts of this month, exercise was something I could count on to bring down the stress and help me feel calmer and less mixed up. You can see the prices here and if you decide you want to subscribe, I’ll hook you up with a buttload of helpful digital products I’ve created and used to help me. There’s also a free app I post in that you can join, too.
Friends, In Real Life
On February 15, my friend Dr. Tiffany Murphy and I met to catch up after a looonnnng time not seeing each other in real life. We had fallen into only talking though texts, Instagram DMs, or Facebook messages. The stars aligned and she was in town and I was in town and we made it happen. But, do you ever find yourself saying “I’m too busy” when you have the opportunity to socialize with a real person? When I left that lunch, I felt lighter, happier, and just overall gooooood.
People Who Get You
If you open your eyes and ears long enough to the good things in life, they will come. This message came from my good friend Ivonne. She is one of the cool ladies I’ve connected with on Instagram. It’s good when you cross paths with people who “get” you. After Ivonne sent me several of her Bhakti beaded designs, she posted this message about me and it was the boost I needed to remind myself “You’re doing good work, Mary Alice.”
The Little Moments
This month hasn’t been the easiest for me. Emotionally, I’ve felt spent. But, I choose to look for the tiny things in my life that make me smile, like my grandpup Polly.
Like the art that I create during a eureka moment when a vision pops in my head that I want to paint out.
Or, when I open a calendar and read words that remind me to breathe and know it’s all going to work out.
I hope you believe that too, that’s it’s all going to work out. But, sometimes you will feel mixed up. Pay attention to these moments, don’t give up, but do take a step to collect yourself. Write your ideas in notebooks, go laugh with a friend, or do the thing that your heart calls you to do.
I can't believe you have bloodroot growing on your land. Lucky you.